Many years have passed since my last entry, and suddenly the itch came back to write something down. It's that feeling of something so truly personal to me, that even after many years, I return to read what I wrote; I just smile and say that "Wow that truly happened to me".
Mind blowing aside, things have been tough and rocky after Feb 2013. It was a truly path changing decision which I made that night, and I definitely am stronger in character and well aware that I have such capabilities of enduring what I went through up to that date, as well as capabilities of exiting from such endurance. Stamina really played a role in the whole process, and I guess after you leave, you don't look back and regret because the grass is truly greener on the other side, once you step on that grass and feel it.
And after Feb 2013, things took a big turn, and roads got darker and the hole was just too deep to come out from. You name it; girls, beer, late nights, distractions, waste of money, anger and everything just came pouring it. It was yet another rewarding experience because it showed me how far I was willing to go for a little distractions to prevent me from tipping over to the days back in 2012. Those months were worth the smile but yet I grew weary and somehow I wasn't much myself at times. Not sure whether I mentioned of my possible split personality those days, and how conflicting it was to exit something when a portion of me wanted to stay because some part of me felt it was worth holding on.
At the end of 2013, I had probably shaken myself up to know that the road ahead was simply too dark. I guess like 'Dexter' the serial killer show ended, it showed me that Ethos, Principles and Upbringing play a big part in character development. And for those values I held, I managed to exit the dark times and begin a much 'wary' journey ahead.
I have a friend to thank for that as well, well I would say an ex-friend because today he's no longer around.
In 2014, it was a year of a new entrepreneurial experience. Though it was all exciting, it just came a paper-exercise which did not materialize due to 1 main reason; lack of capital and risk. I had a great deal of enjoyment and that's probably the year which I really picked up myself in terms of independence and drive to seek new learning. It was also a year of silly romance of remembering my cyber-dating episode; yes you Michelle, and her red Adidas jacket.
It was also a year which I took back to my roots of 2012; to visit the life which I left behind. Yes, visitation of "The Life" rather than "The Person". It was definitely insightful because I visited places which I used to go, as a Couple - but this time only as a Single. Time spent there was only 24hours and the focus was about "Self" preservation.
To wrap up 2014, I believe it was a year of frequent travels to several countries. It was definitely a year which I was more willing to fork out the capital to travel, and explore countries which I usually went with the Family.
But the fun didn't really last that long because when realism stepped in, it wasn't all smiles and fun anymore. The start of 2015 was bumpy, not just for work but also for personal life. First business fallout happened at the start, close to the new year. It was a strange ending because of rashness, lack of patience, and rigid management. The only thing that left me wondering is whether was it a selfless act or a selfish one?
Nevertheless, life tried to sweep me by. It swept me in another odd direction; though the feeling is more towards a "early middle life crisis". I was on my way to publish a book. I managed to compile a list of chapters worth writing about, mainly regarding some of my dating encounters and experiences. I guess it didn't really work out, because I lost that drive after knowing how hard it is to get a publisher. Sigh.
I remember setting up my first fish tank aquarium in March 2015, which slowly grew into 4 tanks. Now it's probably taking up a fair bit of my time, till I've managed to save electricity for my family; lesser computer gaming and no more 24hr parking online for no reason. And lately, FISHING! not sure what is so exciting about it, but the feeling of catching a fish is intriguing.
I guess 2015 would more or less be this way! Haven't found the mood to date at all this year. I took a step back on my purchase of toys, statues and collectibles; and took more ownership on my Financial indicators and welfare. It's definitely been a slow year, and would probably stay that way till something/someone appears to magically rock the boat.
Yes, it has been a long time coming. Never thought I would have a chance to come back to pen some of these things down. Perhaps, for WHO - they could model my quality of life with such qualitative analyses :)
I'm still on Facebook. U know it.
"Ethos, Principles and Upbringing play a big part in character development" - frostdude
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