Yesterday, just yesterday I poured my heart out to her.

What I spoke were truth from the heart which I would never have said to another gender. It felt good to open up, rather than simply relying on written notes and texts. The perks of developing a heart is that these words said from the heart, really means something. And for the first time, it really spiked my heart, so much so that I actually teared up a little.

What I heard, from her were many things of which I do not have control of. Somehow, this is just too over-intensifying for me that I actually can't comprehend its impact on me. I guess being heartless over the last 10 years have made me realize how much I've actually missed out in my love life. But I must say that the loss of 10 years were not regretful as I've picked up bits of learning experiences along the way.

But with the realization of the 2nd paragraph, made me realize how much I can really do for a girl. I never knew I had that stamina in me, or is it because it is just an awakening, a burst of energy or a sudden rush of adrenaline. I'm not sure of which, but all I know is that the feeling is enlightening and exhilarating.

I told myself 2013 would be a year of greater openings and kinship. I guess it really takes a leap of lifestyle to make it work. I've been thinking of this for at least 3 years, since the time I was with my army boys. I kept bringing up the topic about change and taking the step forward. It takes awhile, but you can always speed up the process with a little risk taking and formulation.

There's so much more in 2013 which I can really carve out. I know this road will not be difficult, but I guess one interesting phrase that has been recurring in my eyes. That is, we have that autonomy to choose how we behave, choose our attitude and create impact on lives. That's something which I thought has been quite useful in my everyday life - that I can choose to be devious or I can create havoc. Take a deep breath and rethink again.

I'm not sad. I'm not pissed. In fact, I've said whatever I needed to say to her, and I mean it. 

And finally... qualities which I look forward in a female...

"Stability, Wholeheartedness, Attentive, Straightforward, Pleasant & Fun-loving" - frostdude