With this month coming to a close, I guess it is wise to reflect upon my progress.

For one, I would like to introduce the fact that a lone wolf being put into packs or teams; just simply doesn't cut it. I mean, working in teams and all; is all so easy and glorious but I just hate the fact that personal accountability becomes blurred in team-based efforts. I certainly hate relying on others to get work done, because I simply cannot get myself to count on another to help achieve success. Unless, the other person is driven and has the same intention of achieving success; or else it's really useless. Some people I know, they just lack this mentality when it comes to work; hence work to them is all about social needs, and putting together a happy team and having a good time. Come on, work is fun, but let's not be fooled by fun at work.

Next thing is about expectations. Human behavior is such a funny thing, that when feedback is given on the spot, humans tend to take them more seriously. Humans remember these feedback, even though you think these words are just plain reminders or small notices. I, for one take feedback very very utterly serious. For a fact, that it is not like I do not try my best, but sometimes things just messed up all at the wrong time. And when that happens, I do try to improvise, with moments after that I get scolded for taking initiative. They won't say that they scold you, but I take it seriously ya?

So if you've noticed, if I take initiative, I get scolded. If I don't take initiative, I literally wait for things to screw up; and just tell you in your face "oops, you didn't tell me". And I still get scolded anyway. So, yeah I really hate these two scenarios, because there is no form of understanding. Worse part is you take the initiative, and the higher order tells you "please try to anticipate proactive next time". But in fact, you really anticipated it, but constraint was just left out because i have to go through a higher order. How frustrating.

And back to the story about emotions and girls. So far, the assumption that "at work can find a girlfriend", has not really materialized. In fact, this has really proved to be a rather negative decision outcome; because somehow many as I, have created that level of distinction between work and social life. Many people define you, based on how you work. But when they do not have a starter plate to do so, they relate to your social life and deem you as such, because seriously who keeps a two-face mask? *raise hand*

"Anyway, a life without meaning, is not living a life." - frostdude