Before my sunday ends, perhaps I would like to rattle some random thoughts which have been spinning in my head. After being all excited and expressive, I guess I'm gonna sit it out for a while. You know, this feeling I'm having is pretty much normal. Life isn't all about chasing the paper and dreaming to live the dream.

I always believe that after chasing the paper, life would get easier. In fact, after getting much of these papers, life just got even more complicated. After knowing what you know about the issue, the world and the detailed aspects, you just wished that sometimes you rather not be informed. I must say that experience really beats the paper.

Well, I'm not saying I entirely regret chasing the paper, but rather I'm just feeling kind of small. This is somewhat like how my country feels; small and insignificant. Thinking back, being small isn't all that bad, since expectations are often set below the bar. But a person like myself, dislikes having below-the-bar performance levels. Well, based on my personality wise I guess. However, there are of course the restricting constraints which bind me to a state of being chain to the ball.

My parents tell me, I'm just getting ahead of myself. For say, if the supply depot had issued me four ammunition clips, I would have finished them in a split second. I was very much wrong to even think that textbook ideas and textbook perceived organization visions were all about innovation, creativity and constant improvements. I'm not saying there are no such visionary initiatives, but I think it is always on everybody's mind and sometimes people tend to regard such things as plain general knowledge. I don't blame them. I'm new to the system.

One way or another, my over enthusiastic personality and approach may have caused several chains of mixed feelings, well mostly felt by myself for this moment. Many have told me to back down a notch and give them a rest, and be contented of my progression, and that I would be somewhere, someday with a management over some people.

But for now, I still detest being put down like that....

"Doing too much..." - frostdude