Whose fault is it?

Lately, I've been thinking that some mistakes are not entirely one's fault. So, why do we decide to carry the burden and feel that we have made countless mistakes and regrets in our lives? This idea resides along the fact that many have come fore with the need for reasons to believe that they need improvement in their ways of life.

Then, I would ponder and ask "Why is there a need for improvement?", because change requires a big step and the need to realize the change or else the change would not have much of an effect on the person who yearns change. And most of the time, this person would say he requires change because his efforts have grown ineffective or his experience has become too shallow to face the dynamic forces of today's world.

But then, looking upon his techniques and strategies in life, they seem like what a normal person would do. And in his distress, he feels that he has become inadequate in the satisfaction and achievement of his goals. And after careful considerations, we would see that there are in fact other contributions and forces that influence the nature and behavior of this person.

And sometimes, it can be believed that it is not that person's fault after all, but its the opposite party who is making all the trouble. And that is what I want to put through that, sometimes we do not have to blame ourselves for every unsuccessful attempt in life. It is just that sometimes other people have grown a habit of "selective attention", thus causing them to choose who to regard and who to ignore.

Well, regard and ignore are the two extremes of the equation but I'm sure not all fall in those extreme categories. But then again, selective attention is now a common element in one's life, since many options and opportunities have revealed.

So, should we blame ourselves for every mistake? No. We should understand that perhaps the other party is not responsive to the technique that you have been using. And instead of blaming yourself, you should seek to change or perhaps understand the other party better before making any adjustments.

But, now we come to another issue regarding change. How should we change? To change to meet one's standards or to adjust to another. There have been many conflicting theories and human reasoning saying that we should all respect our individualism and disregard the need to cater to another's beliefs.

Now, let's think again if everyone has "selective attention", would individualism be destroyed? And if you were to stand as a notorious individual, and, each and everyone does that, will there be any gain? And with selective attention, do you even stand a chance in making an impression? The person who practices selective attention, would essentially limit you from the equation, rendering your presence close to zero.

So, to change to meet whose standard? Both. Adjust to accommodate, but not to the extent of compensating your own individualism for another. That's slavery. I believe, each and everyone should engage in selective attention, so that they can be DIFFERENTIATED, and NOTICED, in the crowd of ordinary men. And for that, that is how you would actually gain a stepping stone or a "COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE", so that you would at least be selected for attention.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi