Wow, it's been long since i actually wrote something. It's been quite sometime since i actually did think about anything else. Just being trapped in this invisible prison has made me so blinded by the daily truths that lie in wait for my acceptance. Perhaps, no one can really say that are as satisfied as they are with their particular life. The lack of satisfaction with a particular ideology makes people strive for that little bit more in life.
I, for one, am not satisfied at all. With all the major changes going on, life sucks as it is. The worse part is being happy that i'm unsatisfied. The part where i tell the world how glad and satisfied shows that i'm as hypocrite as you are. The world is not brilliant and i'm not as perfect, but sometimes when you don't get what you want in life, you tend to grow a beard and tell your folks, screw this!
The last weak or so, i made a challenge to myself. How long i can keep this beard of mine. It lasted for about 1 weak and 2 days before i grew tiresome of it. It was simply a goal or perhaps a challenge to see how long my persistence to hold on to something which i set my mind to it. I could easily carried on with this idea but it turns out; there was nothing much more than just a short term phase which i was just putting myself through, once again.
I don't know what to blog but i just want to set my mind to something and get myself reflecting on the passing days. I feel that lately, trust has also become an issue. I don't know what is trust anymore because sometimes trust has a way of double-trusting especially when three parties are in such a trusting mode that they trust each other not to tell one another that they are in another trust situation. It is kind of irritating to say but, how much do i know about trust after all? I'm one of those guilty people who trust people too much to trust their trust.
I've noticed that many people these days have the tendency to plant remote cognitive time bombs in our minds. I think its the latest generation trend that people use to get what they want in life. Well, instead of a major confrontation where many who is not good at speech and emotions lose, many have resorted in the use of cognitive mind bombs. I believe its a tactic of guerrilla warfare and sometimes i believe this is the most effective way of getting things done. I believe i just got planted by someone just tonight. And some way some how, it annoys me that something is ticking away but....
The world i look outside my window is so static. In its every passing moment everyday, the sight remains the same, the world carries and lives on without my presence as i embed myself in the walls of this prison. I'm dying to get out of it but somehow i feel that if i leave these prison walls, the effects of something bad happening would be drastically high. That evil inside of me, has to be restrained and so, a part of me tells me that its okie to be in this situation, well at least there's one less monster for the world to deal with.
The headaches are unbearable and the sleepMORE moments are increasing. It shows a sign of poor efficiency but even a management person like myself would tell that some goals must be met regardless of how much need to have a shut eye. I keep having flashforwards of myself in the future, perhaps due to the extreme pressure i'm going through. And i'm not even near PHD, i'm already getting a head damage.
i believe this weak is the weak which i ever make a difference in life; be it efficient or not, things still need to be done and unfinished business will still come back to haunt me someday; and that day is sooner than i know it. The craving for new excitement awaits at my door; but somehow these chains hold me down and keep me at bay.
I, for one, am not satisfied at all. With all the major changes going on, life sucks as it is. The worse part is being happy that i'm unsatisfied. The part where i tell the world how glad and satisfied shows that i'm as hypocrite as you are. The world is not brilliant and i'm not as perfect, but sometimes when you don't get what you want in life, you tend to grow a beard and tell your folks, screw this!
The last weak or so, i made a challenge to myself. How long i can keep this beard of mine. It lasted for about 1 weak and 2 days before i grew tiresome of it. It was simply a goal or perhaps a challenge to see how long my persistence to hold on to something which i set my mind to it. I could easily carried on with this idea but it turns out; there was nothing much more than just a short term phase which i was just putting myself through, once again.
I don't know what to blog but i just want to set my mind to something and get myself reflecting on the passing days. I feel that lately, trust has also become an issue. I don't know what is trust anymore because sometimes trust has a way of double-trusting especially when three parties are in such a trusting mode that they trust each other not to tell one another that they are in another trust situation. It is kind of irritating to say but, how much do i know about trust after all? I'm one of those guilty people who trust people too much to trust their trust.
I've noticed that many people these days have the tendency to plant remote cognitive time bombs in our minds. I think its the latest generation trend that people use to get what they want in life. Well, instead of a major confrontation where many who is not good at speech and emotions lose, many have resorted in the use of cognitive mind bombs. I believe its a tactic of guerrilla warfare and sometimes i believe this is the most effective way of getting things done. I believe i just got planted by someone just tonight. And some way some how, it annoys me that something is ticking away but....
The world i look outside my window is so static. In its every passing moment everyday, the sight remains the same, the world carries and lives on without my presence as i embed myself in the walls of this prison. I'm dying to get out of it but somehow i feel that if i leave these prison walls, the effects of something bad happening would be drastically high. That evil inside of me, has to be restrained and so, a part of me tells me that its okie to be in this situation, well at least there's one less monster for the world to deal with.
The headaches are unbearable and the sleepMORE moments are increasing. It shows a sign of poor efficiency but even a management person like myself would tell that some goals must be met regardless of how much need to have a shut eye. I keep having flashforwards of myself in the future, perhaps due to the extreme pressure i'm going through. And i'm not even near PHD, i'm already getting a head damage.
i believe this weak is the weak which i ever make a difference in life; be it efficient or not, things still need to be done and unfinished business will still come back to haunt me someday; and that day is sooner than i know it. The craving for new excitement awaits at my door; but somehow these chains hold me down and keep me at bay.
"I feel, sometimes... I'm not satisfied." - frostdude
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