The only problem about being lost is.. being found. Somehow, the feeling of being lost in transition, shows an individual the two sides of a coin. The merits of looking from the heads and the demerits from the tails; only tells one how much he will forgo in this moment as he looks away. The only problem when you look away is, sometimes you just don't see it for yourself that somethings; could have been you. My first walk away was near the water fountain in from of clementi; which is now under renovation. At that moment, i wasn't thinking straight, and given another chance, it would have been another moment where i will hesitate.
The feeling of being lost is somehow everyday you feel a side of yourself; as empty as a cookie jar. You try to cover and fill it with a sensation of despair so as to make yourself feel a little better to live on like any other day. I see myself and reflect sometimes and i guess the things i do, they are just to minimize the disappointments i faced in life. Disappointments with myself, my environment, my situation and my circle.
Sometimes being lost for too long, and you will find yourself having that resistance to be found at the end. You've become so broken that after being found, you might make it broken again. And believe me, picking up the pieces can be a difficult task especially when you have to glue your life back together and pretend the pieces really stick to one another. The past is the past, but the stain is there and will always leave a scar, a memory which cannot be replaced that easily.
Sometimes, i admit, a player can get too engrossed in his grand strategy that he eventually begins to wonder if he is ever playing himself too in this game. I can only describe this as a self-fulfiling prophecy to make oneself experience something which he could have avoided entirely.
These few months have made me realized that sometimes things can backfire, people can remotely create mental mines which can cause a mega outburst. And being lost, has never been any more difficult. It has become a norm and probably it's a my way of punishing oneself that sometimes we get what we give.
The feeling of being lost is somehow everyday you feel a side of yourself; as empty as a cookie jar. You try to cover and fill it with a sensation of despair so as to make yourself feel a little better to live on like any other day. I see myself and reflect sometimes and i guess the things i do, they are just to minimize the disappointments i faced in life. Disappointments with myself, my environment, my situation and my circle.
Sometimes being lost for too long, and you will find yourself having that resistance to be found at the end. You've become so broken that after being found, you might make it broken again. And believe me, picking up the pieces can be a difficult task especially when you have to glue your life back together and pretend the pieces really stick to one another. The past is the past, but the stain is there and will always leave a scar, a memory which cannot be replaced that easily.
Sometimes, i admit, a player can get too engrossed in his grand strategy that he eventually begins to wonder if he is ever playing himself too in this game. I can only describe this as a self-fulfiling prophecy to make oneself experience something which he could have avoided entirely.
These few months have made me realized that sometimes things can backfire, people can remotely create mental mines which can cause a mega outburst. And being lost, has never been any more difficult. It has become a norm and probably it's a my way of punishing oneself that sometimes we get what we give.
"A player begins to wonder if he's playing with himself" - frostdude
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