I shouldn't say this because it has only been a few handful of months. But i think i must say I've instilled some routines in my life; inclusive of work and leisure life. Are our lives suppose to be fully utilized and fulfilled to the max? The talk and intention about time allocation and maximization, but apart of me says that if i do it all too fast, what is there left to do?

I guess i'm in a transition again. I'm at a crossroads of decision making, where the heart says yes but the brain says "no not yet". A life of routines, is not a life at all, because life is suppose to be filled with uncertainties, surprises and things to look forward to. I've placed myself in a whirlpool of predictable events that what else can i venture into?

Much confusion along the way, as this is rather an exploratory idea in mind. As I said, entertainment is never free, and of course companionship is also another key factor. To take up a sport or to take on another "commitment" would require me to analyze and evaluate. All that hassle, just to pleasure one's life. I feel that I'm overdoing it, but I just don't like the idea of doing something and half way through just simply ditching it. Just a simple waste of effort, but they say "if you don't venture out of the comfort zone, you will never experience it".

So, how am I suppose to find a situation of "win-win" or "win-much". Perhaps, it is the slow pace which I don't really like, because its just not the way I am. Or is it just an ambitious part of me, yearning to spread the ample love to the world? I've indeed changed, in a way that maturity has gotten the best of me, and I find myself thinking too much ahead, and not living up to my age.

Many say I should appreciate my age before it's all over, and yes I always think back to my youth teen days and wonder why time and opportunities passed me by. But I guess, sometimes we work too hard and too much, that we forget to enjoy what we have in front of us; because humans are greedy and forever yearning to be satisfied with wealth and comfort. I mean, who doesn't? But, there should come a time, when we look upon departing from our routines, and be touched by something so unique and special; that would serve to brighten up our lives.

I fear, by the time that day comes... I would be "too old to enjoy my age".

"Should we live by our age or live with our environment?" - frostdude