I'm just clueless of what to blog but somehow i feel the great need to pour my heart out. Its an intangible unspoken feeling which just needs to be released from captivity. I feel once again that I'm standing at the edge of the building, with a moment of truce and a lifelong of temptation and regrets.

What really strikes a blow in life is not the actions that we do, but it is the implications, impacts, influences and consequences that we have to deal with. Initiating strategic actions are as simple as getting up from bed and going to work, but somehow no matter how insignificant these actions are, we all live to see another day, and just feel responsible and remorse over what had happened.

I'm not just referring to my recent vehicle mishap, but i'm in fact giving reference to the many parts of my life which are still as dark and behind closed doors. There are places which even my parents nor I, have ever ventured to. Some emotional boundaries are simply too abstract and even disgraceful. I guess, everyone has their own safe haven where they do not receive any condemnation.

Everybody keeps secrets and search hard enough in their cardboards, you'll bound to find their skeletons. Occasional look backs at the many what-ifs in life, and somehow no matter how many what-ifs there are, it'll never get as close as what I have today. It is always going to be something more for something lesser today. This poor illustration of discounted value, only indicates that living in the present, is not easy and sometimes it could become pretentious but we all have to work with what we have.

The mask that we put on everyday, for the world to see, only identifies that we are fake and we have a dark and grey area which we do not want others to see. Living in this world, the norm would be to always be true to yourself. But being true to others, may only indicate that you might have to incur a trade off. Is this trade off an affordable loss for an extra of a positive gratitude or image? That is still left unsaid.

I mean, "just the way you are", is never the same from the beginning. After the passing of the phrase "the truth will set you free", many times based on other situations have shown otherwise. The power of the truth has a way of creating spikes of agony which often lead to mixed emotions. There are risks, there are always risks but is the truth worth changing the situation now? From being safe, to being risky for a price that has yet to be evaluated.

I guess today, something emerged inside of me. Proximity, propensity and capacity are the few evaluative variables which struck me hard. And being true to myself, I told myself that going through with it, will eventually lead to a false direction and the occurrence of unnecessary risks. After all, the real test is none other than, Life.

"If Life is a test, who has the authority to grade your progression?" - frostdude