If we ever meet again?

Yes we did. Often, we get haunted by the past because of some unfortunate deed or miscalculation of decision making. And although time moves on, we still keep a memory of our mistakes and fill ourselves with a sense of regret. We often leave things unsettled and unsaid as we proceed on in our lives, and hope that bygones can remain as bygones. Frankly, I'm a person who takes things at heart, and often they do not just go away overnight.

I had to start somewhere to wash away the dirts of the past. It could have started from the root of the problem but somehow my roots have taken a separate direction which would not matter anymore because it has already developed a new life, a new personality and a new future. Thus, my words nor my actions would not really matter or change the course of nature. It would seem that my actions could have been one of the contributing factors to a chain reaction leading to its new life development. Notice, that I've used the word "it" as a representation for your substitution.

I stopped for the next best thing which could have happened to me in the past. As mentioned before on September 26th's entry, I'm those who often seek contention and satisfaction, thus find it difficult to keep up with the base line of happiness. What i am today, was based on a decision 7 years ago. The momentary split second choice of not competing with a rival, has caused me to further escalate to where i am, and what i am today.

I had my chance of making ends meet this week. Well, although people have moved on, I have not. This week was the best opportunity to take a leap of faith into a new change. I felt nervous, so I asked a friend along. He was unaware of my historical relationship with the opposition. It felt awkward seeing the opposition, besides the fact that it was been 4-5 years since we last met. I tried to break the ice, make amends and cover my "emotional holes" as much as possible. But after it all, who wouldn't die to go back in the past and make the right decision? I'm just happy I've finally gotten the chance to redeem myself for my bad decisions in the past, especially when it involved the opposition.

It felt right and it felt selfish, but it had to be done. I had to seal a 7 years ago damage into a capsule which would allow me to set aside any misdeeds in the past. It was not right, because I did not bring up the issue over dinner. It was not right, because i did not confront the opposition about the past, but seeing how elated it was now with its current life, why spoil it? Perhaps, it is all gone with the winds for it now.

"A chance at redemption; 7 years's of regret - would it have been different?" - frostdude