Sigh. There are times when words cant seem to describe a feeling which one might have. I'm having this discontinuous feeling, which floats within me, which tells me of the many fears that I've tried to avoid. Many fears of failure, many fears of rejects and many other fears of the unknown. We are all human or we can be as human as we want to be from time to time.

I drew up this time line in my mind regarding my progression of consistent pursuit of happiness. It never ends well, nor did it ever start well. Perhaps, it is the lack of network that resides around me. I was telling a friend that perhaps one day if i were to write a book or consult or give advices, I would tell people that no one should ever get satisfied with their existing network, because opportunities are at every turn. And when you really hit a dead end, there's no turning back, because other networks would have moved on away from you, leaving you behind. But what can we all say? Humans get satisfied too easily with short term measures of performance, happiness and interests. I guess, one step at a time has a price to pay one day.

Well, many people have it the easy way because of perhaps fate, or perhaps the right stroke of luck, while others simply sit and wait for the next opportunity eclipse to take its course. I for one, have never been that lucky for clinch on a passing opportunity because every opportunity that comes to me, seems to have a faster product obsolete time, whereby competitors from all sorts anticipate and take the kill, like a prowling eagle.

I blame myself for times when i hesitate. However, they are of the right reasons. Somehow, in today's digital society, it is never a one-way easy course where we can all live happily ever after. I'm sure you would have evaluated that to be true, and just hope that things could go as simple as it should. Most people under such simplicity and naive influence, normally do not end well, given the course of time. And when the curtains do fall off, skeletons are shown and we are all to be blamed for being too unjustified at the start. Love is blind, and so are we.

I believe in today's raging suspicious world, network is key. No matter, how much I've been bragging about reality, one thing still remains that a wider circle of network will definitely get you further in your course of actions in life. Somehow, I've taken on that influence recently, due to the sudden realization of how impaired my circle has become. And as I've mentioned, yes paragraph 2 would slowly but surely apply to my situation in a sub context without any proper examples.

Would I say its too late? Perhaps.. but perhaps not. I guess the many among us do seek to expand their range, but through different and yet obvious measures. I mean is paying money for a stroke of luck in network entry, worth the trouble? Or perhaps the need for investment of intangible source of time? That still remains uncertain but one thing is still as keen, is the need to exert the right moment of effort. Effort at the wrong moment, seems as though it has not been exerted nor seen in the eyes of the receiver. We all believe that we have put in our effort but many of us, are simply distrustful in the sense that effort must be seen in the form of result or an attempt to make progress. If not, we are but...wasting our time.

"Effort at the wrong moment, seems as though it has not been exerted nor seen in the eyes of the receiver" - frostdude