It took a brief one weak before i actually feel a little better compared to last weak. Last weak was just a plain dwelling in a well of hopelessly no water and an infestation of thoughts like they were mosquitoes seeking attention from a human being as they buzz at your ears when they could actually just bite you and get it over with.
Well, i can safely say most of these buzzing thoughts of negativity has made its way to a better place already. I believe this weak was a part of a getaway from it all. At times it was so tempting, just a click or an ENTER away. I had to control myself, for i might have crossed that thin line. And once again, i managed to relief myself of my temptations with a side note of irrelevance.
I believed this mutual attraction was a mere one way occasional feeling which creeps up on you and hopes that you may get attracted by it. It's like a marketing scheme which you simply tell yourself, "good try, but you fell for it!". And yes, i think i did fall for it, with all those clouded judgment and literally no one to actually relate this to.
I believe i wont be able to leak this apparent disbelief into the public, for i feel there will be some perceptive judgmental contrast, and it would seriously endanger the existing network of affiliations. But all in all, i was going to say that i could have gotten somewhere or nowhere this time, but i did not take the shot, seeing how emotionally irrational i still am, since very long ago.
And, i believe its for the better. Recalling all of my milestones which i've planted mistakenly in their network, i believe this time round, it would be better for me to sit this one out in reality. I guess at this age, i shouldnt be making anymore emotionally irrational decisions. They say as you grow older, your circle of friends really shrink by the passing years. And i guess, this is one network which i do not intend to forgo or leave out.
Lastly, after giving it so much thought, i guess i will make this official to let it pass me by like a wind blowing the cloudy gloomy clouds away...unless there are initiatives of a two way street, then it would be worth some consideration. Otherwise, i guess this is just one of the 52 weaks in this year which i've just simply jumped way over my head in terms of ideology and poor perception of what-is-to-be and what-is-now.
But thank you, for the memories, dreams and experiences which we shared over the last 2-3 weaks. I believe, it was my attempt to explore into something which should be buried and not even considered as anything more than just a "long term and lasting friendship".
Well, i can safely say most of these buzzing thoughts of negativity has made its way to a better place already. I believe this weak was a part of a getaway from it all. At times it was so tempting, just a click or an ENTER away. I had to control myself, for i might have crossed that thin line. And once again, i managed to relief myself of my temptations with a side note of irrelevance.
I believed this mutual attraction was a mere one way occasional feeling which creeps up on you and hopes that you may get attracted by it. It's like a marketing scheme which you simply tell yourself, "good try, but you fell for it!". And yes, i think i did fall for it, with all those clouded judgment and literally no one to actually relate this to.
I believe i wont be able to leak this apparent disbelief into the public, for i feel there will be some perceptive judgmental contrast, and it would seriously endanger the existing network of affiliations. But all in all, i was going to say that i could have gotten somewhere or nowhere this time, but i did not take the shot, seeing how emotionally irrational i still am, since very long ago.
And, i believe its for the better. Recalling all of my milestones which i've planted mistakenly in their network, i believe this time round, it would be better for me to sit this one out in reality. I guess at this age, i shouldnt be making anymore emotionally irrational decisions. They say as you grow older, your circle of friends really shrink by the passing years. And i guess, this is one network which i do not intend to forgo or leave out.
Lastly, after giving it so much thought, i guess i will make this official to let it pass me by like a wind blowing the cloudy gloomy clouds away...unless there are initiatives of a two way street, then it would be worth some consideration. Otherwise, i guess this is just one of the 52 weaks in this year which i've just simply jumped way over my head in terms of ideology and poor perception of what-is-to-be and what-is-now.
But thank you, for the memories, dreams and experiences which we shared over the last 2-3 weaks. I believe, it was my attempt to explore into something which should be buried and not even considered as anything more than just a "long term and lasting friendship".
"My poor perceptual emotional irrationality has caused me a downtime for a weak, but it was worth every moment of it." - frostdude
No comments:
Post a Comment